Visually impaired people with astigmatisms who can’t wear normal daily disposables and who have to wear monthly toric lenses at £10 a pair: keep your contact lenses in tip-top condition by not falling asleep in the fucking things!

I had a 3 hour snooze on Saturday afternoon during which my friend actually thought I’d died. When I woke, I couldn’t see a thing and so I took my lenses out. They looked like a baby’s tongue, i.e. covered in milky goo. I thought that a good soak would sort them out, but alas, they’re well and truly mangled.

That’s ANOTHER new pair of lenses I’ve had to bin – third in a row. Stupid tit.

I’m going to get my eyes lasered.

Agenda for change
There’s currently an exercise in the NHS whereby just about everybody is having their job reviewed so we can all go onto the same, nationally-agreed, 8-band payscale. Some people have their jobs matched nationally, others don’t have equivalents and so have to go through a process called “job evaluation”. This involves filling out a 35-page questionnaire that covers all aspects of your role. Guess which category I fit in to? Yep, I’m being evaluated and assimilated (yes, assimilated). I’ve got to fill out the fucking questionnaire by tomorrow – yep, in my own time.

Will any of us actually get what we deserve? No.

Is this just an exercise in reducing costs? Absolutely.

Bastards.