Going out for a meal with my family is never much fun… for long. The food will be excellent, but I’ll end up very bored and very irritable after approximately an hour and a half (just before the main course arrives).

Yes, it really does take that long. A meal out at a nice restaurant can’t just be a meal out at a nice restaurant, it has to take all fucking night – four hours is the average – during which time I get more and more fed up with people getting pissed around me. But I have to wait because I’m inevitably the taxi. And I’m up for work in the morning.

Ho-ho-how happy we all are!

You can see the back of my head in this shot that was taken a few years ago. I’ll probably be sat in that very same chair at 11pm tonight – crying.

Why can’t we just go out, eat, have a coffee, come home?

Fuck knows.

Table is booked for 6.45pm. There’ll be an update once I finally get back.