DIZ GUSS TING

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The UK’s Health and Safety at Work Act (1974) is supposed to ensure that all business premises are safe environments for workers and visitors. It clearly became law before computer keyboards were even dreamt of.

Not long ago, Sniffy Experimentals brought you the keyboard challenge, in which anybody interested was invited to check out the crap that falls from between the keys of your tippytappybox when you upend it and give it a bash. Connie and Trillion provided me with some spectacular photos of the shit that came out of their keyboards:

Connie keyboard crap_1
Connie’s home PC keyboard
Trillion work keyboard - jesus!#
Trillion’s work PC keyboard – suck a fuck!

Shocked and appalled! That shit on the keyboard that Trillion is forced to use probably contains enough biological agents to find cures to all diseases known to mankind.

Being quite obsessive about this sort of thing, I keep my work keyboard pretty clean with caustic foaming cleaner:

T keyboard

You could quite literally eat your dinner off my work keyboard. Unfortunately, it looks like somebody has been eating theirs off another one that I have to endure.

Keyboard mankiness
Fuck me backwards, that’s some shit!

I have to use this other office quite regularly these days and I feel quite dirty while I’m in there. It smells funny and the keyboard is disgusting. I can imagine that my predecessor has been farting in the seat – or worse!

And this brings me to thinking, it’s a one person office, the door locks, it’s on a secluded corridor, what if the occupant feels a bit frisky and fancies a quick tickle of their fancy? There’s nothing really to stop them. And then I look at that keyboard, sniff the air and conclude that, possibly, nothing did stop them.

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