I really hate it when people send me an e-mail that starts simply:
Tina,
No “Dear Tina” or “Hi Tina” or “Ahoy there Tina”, just “Tina”. The message content is usually a single sentence, or question, which is closed off by the sender’s name in the absence of a “Best wishes”, “Thanks”, “Regards”, “Yours ignorantly”, etc.
Rude bastards. How difficult is it to add an extra three words to a message? You can even include the “Best wishes” bit as part of your e-mail signature, for fuck’s sake.
Brothers and Sisters
This is a new programme that started on Channel 4 this evening. I’m watching it at the moment, but I haven’t got a fucking clue what’s going on. I hope it gets better, I’ve been looking forward to this and I’d hate for it to be totally shite.
Hrrm, there’s a KT Tunstall song playing, I don’t know whether that’s a good or bad sign.
Jalapeno flavoured jelly beans
These things are the business. I’m sure you could end up in hospital if you ate enough of them, but it’d be worth it to see the colour of your poo when they came out.
Hot tamales
Can somebody in North America please post me a bag of Hot Tamales? I really like them.
The Snoring Dog 
You want hot tamales? You got hot tamales honey. I think I still have your address. And yes, I’ll make sure to include a note this time 🙂
Dearest darling Sniffy,
We hope this morning finds you well and dandy.
Jalapeno jelly beans are fucking ace!
They have to be the Jelly Belly Beans though. I’ve had some of the cheap ones and they really are wank.
What are hot tamales?
If Karen sends you some, will you send some to us?
*pwetty pwease*
Kindest regards,
Tazzy and Piggy
Hot Tamales are very similar to the sizzling hot cinnamon Jelly Belly jelly beans, only a little bit nicer. Of course I meant Jelly Belly beans, I’m not some cheap tart, you know.
Should I send a couple of boxes then?
Greetings and salutations Tina,you wonderfully warm and considerate person from Manchester.
I am so tempted sometimes to have “Your all a bunch of cunts” as a signature for my emails.
yours lovingly,
SID
Your all a bunch of cunts
Dearest SniffyTina,
If you like Hot Tamales, you’d love Atomic Fire Balls. They’re like Jawbreakers that will scorch the roof of your mouth clean off. Want some?
Your most devoted reader,
Bronwen
Hell yes!
Anything jalepeno related is tops.
I can eat the things neat from the jar.
Wotcha Teen.
I hate Jelly beans.
Fare thee well,
IDV
YES KAREN, YES!
MAKE SURE YOU MARK ONE OF THEM FOR ME THOUGH!
*we love Karen*
*lots and lots*
*we love suburban wonder too*
Well, if you’d like some Atomic Fire Balls, email me your address. I’m not psychic, you know.
Same for you too, Piggy.
suburbanwonder@gmail.com
Ahoy once more! Got the Tamales…how do you feel (and you too Piggy and Tazzy) about the Mike and Ike’s?
Just curious, how would you feel if they didn’t even put your name on the first line?
Aas — not to be confused with Aak
Hi Aas,
I really don’t mind when people don’t start an e-mail with a greeting. Strange I suppose.
I don’t know what Mike and Ike’s are Karen, can you enlighten me? Ta.
Hey Tina: Mike and Ikes are, I think, just like the Hot Tamales (same company) but come in fruit flavours of all sorts (not to be confused with allsorts licorice).
http://www.mikeandike.com/
Let me know if you’d like some of these as well.
Tina…
I do that allll the time. I don’t have time for niceities and it takes too much time to type. I wonder if I piss other people off?
Yours lovingly, adoringly, and always,
Pissoff.