I really don’t get Facebook. I have an account, people signed up as my friends, people queued up waiting for me to confirm their friends requests (well, one), but I really don’t see the point of it. I have colleagues listed as my friends. They’re my bloody colleagues, for fuck’s sake, I don’t even talk to them at work!

Can somebody please enlighten me as to the point of Facebook? You have a conversation with somebody, but everybody else can see it. And anybody can just search for you and add you as their friend; “Some spurdy dur you really don’t even talk to at work has added you as their friend on Facebook”. You dread the e-mail coming through.

They’re in the next office at work and you hardly speak to them there, would you like to confirm them as your friend on Facebook so they can see a load of your personal photos and messages with other internet ne’er-do-wells?

Hell no! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes they’re welcomed, but generally these friend requests are puzzling, bordering on weirdo stalking. In fact, that’s exactly what Facebook is: a stalking tool for people who should know better.

Drag up
YAY, Tootsie’s on the telly! That’s a great film. From the same era as 9 to 5, it just makes you feel good watching it.

“This bruise? Oh it’s nothing, honestly. Just clumsy old me, walking into things!”
I have a painful bruise on my forehead where I’ve bashed it on the underside of the stairs. Here at Trump’s house, the doorway from the living room into the dining room has been moved so that the walkway takes you beneath the stairs, as opposed to past the bottom of them. This isn’t something that’s happened recently (the doorway move), it’s always been like that, but I keep twatting my head on the underside of the stairs. You know what it’s like when you bash your head so hard that it makes your teeth really clatter together? That’s what this is like.

Domestic bliss…ters
Me and Trump look like we’ve been fighting; she has a black eye from where she’s been rubbing hers.

But we don’t really fight. She shouts at me when we do domestic tasks. Today’s torture was brought to us by the words “Ikea” and “Wonderweb”. Ikea curtains being one length (about 5 metres), they need cutting down and hemming in order to fit any normal window. I don’t like to get involved, but I feel I have to (I’m told I have to), then I get shouted at. The end result is good and we can finally open the living room curtains because a) they now glide along the new curtain track, and b) we have nets up to stop the nosy fishwives from staring in on their twice-daily promenades along the street.

Isn’t the New Zealand accent funny?