It’s January. The middle winter month. Winter is the season when the planet earth is furthest in its orbit from our warmth and light-giving star, the sun. As a result, the months of December, January and February generally have the least light and heat than the other nine months in the calendar. Because of where the UK is in latitude, cold can mean as low as minus 15C. When the air temperature gets below 4C, things start to freeze and this can mean icy roads and, if other conditions are suitable, snow.

Today is the 13th of January. Why then is it headline news that snow might be coming to the UK? Why? The BBC is already warning of possible travel problems because of a potential dusting of the white stuff. Snow is due to fall across large areas of the UK on Monday as low temperatures take hold, the Met Office warns.

While a dusting of the white stuff might be a bit wet and cause some spray, the only reason it would cause travel problems is because the entire country is pathetic and needs to get a bloody grip.

The arctic conditions that have blighted us today have meant a maximum temperature of about 1C and a bit of sleety snow. This may continue into tomorrow.

Cue school closures, train cancellations, multiple pile ups, airport delays and all-round moaning that makes rational people want to wear a big jumper and a surly facial expression and pretend to be Scandinavian.

My folks read the Daily Express. When the front page isn’t running a sensationalist lie about immigrants, it can be guaranteed the weather is the main headline. It’s been predicting the “Coldest winter on record” every year that I’ve read it and also, “Hosepipe bans on the cards as meteorologists forecast the hottest summer ever”. Neither of these things have happened, but their obsession with the weather is symptomatic of a country that doesn’t have enough to worry about.

The same sort of thing happens with seasonal flu and winter vomiting bug with the incidence levels making headline news. The clue is in the name – “seasonal” and “winter” – these things go round at this time of year. What also never changes is the fact that flu infections can be reduced by people having the flu jab (which obviously actually GIVES people flu [give me strength]), and people following basic rules of hygiene, you know, like not coughing all over people, staying away from people if you’ve been throwing up for a day and washing your fucking hands you dirty scummers.

Of course, the government is always to blame for not having flu jab snatch squads and for not telling people not to be dirty scummers.

Maybe it’s just me, but why is stupidity and lack of personal responsibility tolerated in a modern society?

And this, dear blog, is the effect that a little bit of sleet has on me. The hottest summer ever can’t come soon enough.