So this is where I find myself:

I could try harder with my friends and make more of an effort to enhance my social life. This would be a good thing for me irrespective of my relationship status. Maybe I’m quite lazy on the friends front, but I don’t want to impose on people who have proper lives, who are busy, who are capable of making their own social arrangements. I’m also lacking in confidence in terms of inviting people to do stuff with me, mainly because of the reasons stated previously. If others are successful in finding relationships and friendships, why can’t I be? Because I think I’m a little bit odd. Perhaps.

But I’ve never really been one for going out and doing stuff. When I was a child, I never had best friends at school, I didn’t hang out with people out of school; I just came home, did family things, homework, then went back to school. I felt awkward amongst my peers, possibly because of the age difference between us: it’s quite difficult being nearly a year younger than a lot of people in the same class as you, especially up to the age of about sixteen or so.

Anyway (:@) all that aside, I think I’m ready to be part of an us again, but without a throbbing social circle (and anything remotely attractive going for me), finding a future Mrs Me is going to be quite difficult.

I could throw myself into the world of internet dating, but that is bound to end in disaster. Desperate people searching for the love of their life by prescription. I’m not going to be expending a huge amount of energy, or cash, going down that line of investigation.

People only lie on those dating sites anyway, or they’re way too open to start off with and immediately cause me to recoil in horror. It’s still amusing to have the odd look at women who think that a profile photo of them drunk and surrounded by their equally drunk friends is remotely attractive. Or those who can’t find a picture of themselves without photographing their reflection in the mirror. This results in them posting an image of their doppelgänger, don’t they know this sort of thing? Then there are the ones who can’t write in sentenced. Those who think others want to date somebody who’s always out rock climbing or fell running or playing golf or riding bare back or whatever. This isn’t impressive, especially considering that most people just work, go home, eat something, then veg out in front of the telly before going to bed.

Why can’t people who post profiles on dating sites just be:

a. Honest
b. Coherent
c. Interesting
d. Normal
e. Intelligent
f. Able to fucking cook

Yes, we all want a nice relationship with somebody who isn’t a drama queen, who hasn’t got too much emotional baggage, who doesn’t play games, who is trustworthy, etc, etc, etc. But what exactly do you like in your life? More importantly, what do you not like?

And this brings me on to the wife project. The problem with maybe, perhaps being on the lookout for a potential relationship, possibly, you know if something came along, is that we only know for certain what we don’t want. Or do we? Me being me, I have a huge list of absolutely nots, such as:

The list could go on and on. And it does. But the more I look at dating sites, the less inclined I am to ever want to date anybody ever again because I build up a mental image of SUPER LESBIAN that just puts me off all gay women altogether.

Maybe I’m just too set in my ways to date again. I don’t think there’s anybody in the real world who could match my ideal woman fantasy. She’s a hybrid of Miranda Hart, Kirstie Allsopp, Emma Thompson; NIGELLA; Jess Ennis and Kate Winslet. The problem with fantasising about that sort of thing is that the reality might turn out like Bernard Manning. No, they’re all too posh for that. Errmmm, Carol Thatcher.

Dear Lord. I think being single is looking like the better option.