Wrap up warm in winter

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With November rapidly approaching, the relentless fall of leaves from trees, dipping temperatures and short days, there’s no escaping the fact that it is well and truly autumn and that winter will soon be upon us.

Ah well, there’s no point giving in to depression. I might as well embrace the changing seasons (groan) and make the most of it. Winter has its positives: there’s Christmas; and the run up to it; and the food; buying lovely pressies for lovely people…. and wrapping up warm.

There’s something nice about wearing your big quilted winter coat, pulling your gloves and hat on. It’s kind of like being cuddled. Even more so if you’ve got a nice scarf to wear. Oooh, wrap it round your neck to keep the chill out – a nice long one will even add extra warmth to your chest.

Fantastic.

Why then, do I hate THIS:

scarf ace

For some reason seeing a scarf worn in this particular way really winds me up and I don’t know why. I think it’s because I work near the universities in a large city that has the largest student population in Europe. Each day, I’ll see these nubile young things hopping off buses, laughing, thin, optimistic, attractive, fashionable, popular. There are LOADS of them, all wearing scarfs tied in this way – but they never wear an overcoat!

Hit me
“I was wondering if you could help, I seem to have forgotten my coat”

This is called the “European casual” or “European loop-through” method of tying a scarf:

Scarf euro casual

european
What are the alternatives? Well, as it happens, it seems that I tend to go for the Single Knot:

Scarf single knot

Or the Double Flip:
Scarf double flip

But never the through loop.

Fuck, the things that I find annoy me get more bizarre and worrisome each day. Today I got annoyed because I had to leave the house. Withdrawal from society is becoming more appealing to me. This is probably not such a bad thing since I don’t really like the society in which I live, or the people in it. Dealing with people on a daily basis is such a chore and god forbid anybody should attempt to engage in conversation with me while I’m trying to conduct a transaction at the shops.

Pay at the pump for petrol, online shopping for everything else.

Anyway (a favourite word for a swelling tide of people it seems), that’s my reclusive side dealt with.
Tina’s techno traumas
Bluetooth is the shittest of all technologies ever. New phone: trying to transfer music from PC via SD card in old phone and employing super bluetooth to magic the files from one phone to the other. Fucking waste of time, especially since the phone’s headphones are completely shit.

Bluetooth shite reconstruction:

Bollocks to bluetooth

People shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a computer unless they’ve rudimentary lessons in how to use one. Are people allowed to use a car without having driving lessons? No. So why do people buy computers, only to rely on others to sort out their problems when they realise they haven’t got a clue what they’re doing?

Ever tried to teach your mum (or similar elderly relative) how to use predictive text messaging? No? Don’t bother. Although Connie is thrilled with the camera on her new (my old) phone and she also likes having Kelly-Marie’s Feels like I’m in love and Kylie’s Hand on your heart as ringtones.

Top ten
I’ve been given the near impossible task of compiling my top ten favourite songs. Cheers fellers!. Let’s think who it’ll have to contain songs by, then work from there (perhaps if I list the artistes, they’ll realise their mistake and withdraw their request).

Draft 1

  • Blondie (from: Picture this; Hanging on the telephone; Union City blue; Dreaming)
  • B52s (from: Summer of love; Ain’t it a shame; Song for a future generation; Queen of Las Vegas; 52 Girls; Give me back my man; Dirty back road)
  • Tori Amos (from: Cornflake girl; A sorta fairytale; Precious things; Yes, Anastasia)
  • Kate Bush (from: The big sky; The man with the child in his eyes; James and the cold gun; Houdini; Rocket’s tail; Never be mine; L’amour looks something like you)
  • Madonna (from: Into the groove (original); Ray of light; Revenge; Like a prayer; Beautiful stranger)
  • George Michael/Wham (from: Cowboys and angels; Freedom 90; Too funky; You have been loved; Club Tropicana)
  • Kylie (from: Hand on your heart; Better the devil you know; Shocked; What do I have to do?)
  • S’Express – Superfly guy
  • Lemon Jelly – The Saunton lick

Of course, these are just the ones from my favourite artistes. There’s also a huge selection of one offs that I could make a top million out of.

I’ll work on it, I’ve noticed there’s no Abba in there. It needs work and lots of careful consideration.

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