My gob will surely get me into terrible trouble one day. I’m sure it has been the main contributory factor in my general failure to climb the career ladder at work (but on a one-rung ladder, that’s not a great problem).

Skip to the end…
I have a terrible habit of taking people’s understanding of me for granted and making jokes. Today’s was throwing in a “skip to the end” as a colleague was telling us all a bit of a long-winded story. Not a boring story by any stretch of the imagination, but a touch convoluted. I wasn’t at all bored with what she was saying, but I couldn’t help interrupting with a “are we nearly there yet?” comment.

What is wrong with me? Luckily she knows I’m taking the piss, but I’m going to do that to the wrong person one day; like the Director when he’s telling us all something really important, droning in, “blah, blah, blah, blah …” like Charlie Brown’s teacher in Peanuts.

“And the really important thing for us is to ensure that we’re in the position to make a really good bid where we stand a chance of real success instead of expending our energis on lots of minor…..”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake man! What’s your fucking point???”

“My point, Tina, is that we won’t have enough funds to staff the department…”

“And…. we’re waiting….”

“…department at current levels and we’re going to have to be making redundancies based on a number of criteria!”

Ho hum.

Date
Some kind soul has suggested that I sign up to an online dating agency. Working in cahoots with Clicky, Whinger has come up with a profile to upload somewhere. Here it is:

Crazy Hair Seeks Non-Crazy
About Me, What I’m Looking For
I am a single professional with a biting wit. I am skeptical of true love, but am willing to give it a go for the sake of filling the nights. I am interested in finding someone who loves a good gripe about the everyday annoyances, and can hold her own in conversation. I am not interested in those who make life overly complicated: there is no need for a toaster when one has a broiler, there are correct ways of doing the dishes, and driving rules must be observed.

For fun:
Taking the piss out of others.

Favorite things:
My lovely felines (I swear, I SWEAR I’m not THAT lesbian), Pepsi products, my computer, and irritating the inbred neighbors.

Now, the question is, should I sign up for a dating thing and post a profile? Would blog world help identify my better attributes? How about holding some online auditions of potential dates right here?

Could you imagine me on a date? Bloody hell. I could imagine me eating some dates, but on a date? With like a real life person? What do you do if you’re not enjoying it and you need to get out of there? What if somebody you know sees you???

Oh God, I don’t think I can cope! Gets me all agitated.