Bios-fear

I don’t really know what a Bios is – something to do with a bit of software that controls key settings on your PC when it starts up… you know, the black DOS bit before Windows starts. I made myself look a right tit (as opposed to a left one) when I thought I’d be clever and disable the Bios password on my work’s PC. Didn’t realise there was an additional administrator password and I ended up locked out of my machine for hours this morning while I waited to be rescued by my Shite in Whining Armour from IT Helpdesk.

Dur.

Why are IT Helpdesk personnel so password obsessed? Probably because of idiots like me who think they know what they’re doing, but who always fuck it up.

Christmas
There’s no hiding from it now: the festive season is just about on us. Well it’s not, but the time has come to start preparing for it in terms of thinking about presents to buy loved ones – preferably ones that you can keep secret despite the almost constant questioning, “Sniiifffff? Can I have a clue please?”

Yes, so I’ve been organising some gifts for dearest Trump because I like to be organised. Most people like to be organised and it surprises me that the main retailers feel the need to remind us to get organised for Christmas. Why do they think they need to do this? Surely most people who celebrate Christmas generally know that it falls on 25th of December and that shops and things get crowded from mid-November, so it’s usual for people to start asking what loved ones would like for gifts and to start sorting things out. We don’t need the fucking shops to tell us that Christmas is coming!

We CERTAINLY don’t need fucking horrible Asda telling us that Christmas is coming with their fucking horrible adverts that feature fucking horrible children singing I wish it could be Christmas every day! FUCKERS! Of course they wish could be Christmas every day! The fucking parasitic bastards don’t have to pay for any of it and they get to have a really good time while everybody else is stressing about everything. Selfish little shits.

I hate the sound of children singing, absolutely fucking hate it. For Asda, which I hate with such a passion I cannot describe it, to use singing children to advertise their god-awful fucking shops is the absolute perfect example of how utterly fucking shite they are!

My jaw is aching because of intensive teeth-clenching.

In as much as Trump gifts go, she thinks I’m really splashing out, but I’m actually using my creativity to keep the costs of Christmas down. It’s amazing what you can do with bits of old toilet roll insides and crepe paper. Next week I’ll be making a Blue Peter advent candle.

That’s just a bit of a joke to throw her off the scent. If anybody has any tips as to how to prevent her from finding out what I’ve got her, I’d be very grateful. I find it impossible to lie to her, so keeping her pressies secret until Christmas Day is going to be very difficult – she’s already figured three out.

HA, HA, HA!
Don’t you love it when people get their comeuppance? I really cannot believe the stupidity of some people, but I’m so glad that this idiot got what he deserved rather than hurting somebody else.

15 thoughts on “Bios-fear

  1. Oh. My. God – I just read about that moron with the firework. What a bonehead!

    How to hide pressies – put them in Connie’s closet. Or Bomb’s. The WCM has to hide mine in the basement with the creepy spiders, as I won’t go there. I am a snooper, sad to say, and had always found my presents before Christmas. Now I’m always surprised. Bastard.

  2. It’s not really hiding them that’s the problem, it’s staying strong and maintaining my composure against her barrage of interrogation techniques where I’m so weak. She is a nightmare.

  3. OMG! Why the fuck would you stick a rocket up your arse??!!

    ‘kin unbelievable

    Tina – I’m still keeping track of your blog. Your anger makes me pee my pants

  4. Hey there Lucie. I know when certain people drop by, even if they don’t comment.

    I’m glad people find amusement in my anger. Iam constantly frustrated by the world’s lack of sense, logic, consideration and respect, but at least letting rip here prevents me from getting in trouble in the real world.

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