As I stumbled from the bed I’d shared with Trump, heading bleary-eyed into a dark Monday morning, I was taken by surprise: an involuntary fart left my person before I’d taken more than three aching steps. I was instantly hit with a funk so strong, so evil, that it must have come from the bowels of hell itself. Within seconds, the dozing Trump fell victim to the gases that had permeated the atmosphere and expelled the sweet, fresh air.
“You dirty bitch!”
Actually, she might not have said that; unable as she was to move or cry for help in her paralysed state.
But the strange thing is that I’ve been doing horrendous farts for the past couple of days, yet my number twos have been almost odourless.
Explain that, Lord Winston!
It’s getting me down a bit now, but still providing plenty of amusement as I leave a little bit of myself wherever I go.
Time won’t give me time
My mobile phone has gone weird. People’s text messages are recorded as arriving an hour later than they were. Rubbish! Although I’m sure I could use this to my advantage if I need an alibi for something.
Some more views of the city
I was preserving these photos for somewhere else, but what the hell! I’ve been having such a nice time wandering around the city with Trump and my camera, it’s nice to share it with folk.
The fountain, Albert Square
This is the Town Hall in Albert Square. We’ve had an inflatable Father Christmas for over twenty years. The original one used to climb the clock tower, but burst every year as it got punctured on spiky brickwork. This is the last year that Manchester will be visited by our inflatable Father Christmas. It’s a great shame.
The second photo shows that Father Christmas is holding the Space Shuttle – no idea why. It’s also nice to note how easily the 2005 was changed to 2006. I’ve seen this somewhere before…
Here we have a couple of different views of Manchester’s Central Library – the top one shows some of the arc of the wall that borders Library Walk. The Central Library is ace and I used to spend a fair bit of time in there, looking up old newspaper editions on microfiche when I was a sixthformer.
And this is the G-Mex Centre. It used to be Manchester’s Central railway station, but it stood unused for years before being turned into a big exhibition centre. The big thing in the background is Beetham Tower. It is HUGE, with the Hilton Hotel occupying lower floors and private apartments on the top third. The tower dominates the skyline and it is in such a position that it occupies a central point for most of the major roads into the town. If you ever come into land in Manchester airport, look out for it – it sticks out a mile.
So that’s another photojournal of my days out in my city (well it’s not mine, but my city – Salford -is totally shite with only a concrete shopping precinct and run-down bus station to boast at its heart).
Next in the Sniffy does the City: HOT SAUSAGE! Sniffy’s adventures on the Christmas markets.
The Snoring Dog 
After that descriptive gas anecdote, your going to torment your intestines with hot sausages?
Careful not to blow a hole out the back of your jeans!
Too fucking right I am! And I’ll be going to watch Pan’s Labyrinth in the “art house” cinema afterwards. Should ensure that I get a seat away from people.
Sniffy does hot sausage? Won’t Trump mind?
Trump will be there, supervising the filling of my sausage compartment.
Wouldn’t the sausage be doing …
The sausage will be a passive player in our little pantomime.
Beautiful shots! And I see that you do not, in fact, have any snow. Why did I think your winter was similar to ours?
OOOoh sausage talk! Stop it, you’re making me….hungry.
Our climate is very mild in England average of 5 in winter, 15 in summer and not much deviation. Not much snow, not much sunshine, just grey.
Sausage? You need to get over to our Christmas markets.
Those sausages are revolting. Lips and eyelids.
I’ll try to get a photo of the event. That’s if I’m not puking from the fucking smell of gluweine (sp?) and other shit they sell.
It does pong a bit with all that warm wine in the air. I’ll look after you, Trump, don’t worry.
Oh wait…you meant “that” kind of sausage? Damn. That’s just icky.
Is Beetham Tower a new addition – I don’t recall it and always thought CIS building was tallest in the city.
Beetham is new; it was completed just this year. It dwarfs the CIS building.
I regularly get vexed by time’s to-ing and fro-ing. Perhaps your phone has been in some way affected by the poo-air you’ve been expelling?
my dad worked on the building of the CIS towe when he was a lad. he had nothingto do with beetham tower though.
beetham tower has caused interference with Granada’s signal apparently. not made coronation street any more watchable though.
Funny that Sniff…I’ve been rather rank myself.
Something to do with that new Kraft Dinner no doubt april?
Hey,nice blog!!! I found a place where you can make an extra $800 or more a month. I do it part time and make a lot more than that. It is definitely worth a visit! You can do it in your spare time and make good cash. Make Extra Cash
Hey,nice blog!!! I found a place where you can make an extra $800 or more a month. I do it part time and make a lot more than that. It is definitely worth a visit! You can do it in your spare time and make good cash. Make Extra Cash
[url=http://hometown.aol.de/chlstrl/foods-that-lower-cholesterol.html]foods that lower cholesterol[/url]
[url=http://hometown.aol.de/chlstrl/foods-that-lower-your-cholesterol.html]foods that lower your cholesterol[/url] | [url=http://hometown.aol.de/chlstrl/index.html]lower cholesterol[/url]
[url=http://jeeee.net/url/2854.html]paxil side effects[/url]
[url=http://jeeee.net/url/2855.html]ultram er[/url] – [url=http://jeeee.net/url/2857.html]tramadol[/url] – [url=http://jeeee.net/url/2859.html]cheapest fioricet[/url] – [url=http://jeeee.net/url/2860.html]buy carisoprodol[/url]