Chase you with a ladle

I’m not sure how you spell ladle ; that doesn’t look right some how.

looshnbird

Ok, so it’s a hockey stick and not a ladle, but the image sums up the out of control cat from the Bear comics. I have an out of control cat on my lap right now. Otto does a very good impression of a pyjama case…

…as does my arse. But soon enough I shall be back into my fit, fit, FIT ways as I start exercising again. I have no excuse either since I’ve just discovered that I can transfer my gym membership to the one near Chez Trump. Oh lordy, the accounts of pain I shall be recounting here.

Little Con
She is five weeks old today. She doesn’t half whinge alot. I think my sister’s breast milk is poisonous and they are cries for help. “Please give me a bottle, my Mum’s boob is toxic!!!”

I’m sure she must be ready to try her first Pot Noodle.

Off
I’m off work for a week from tomorrow. Yay! Activities will include:

  • Waiting in for a delivery
  • Going up to Barrow
  • Coming back from Barrow
  • Stripping Trump’s bathroom
  • Getting some repairs done on the car
  • Watching somebody do some decorating at Trump’s
  • Eating vast amounts of chick pea curry at the Nawab Indian buffet
  • Moving stuff into Trump’s so I can officially become a kept woman

I’m not sure she knows about me being a kept woman, but she’ll get used to it.

12 thoughts on “Chase you with a ladle

  1. Yay! First!

    ‘Stripping in Trumps bathroom’, I think you must have meant.

    Followed by ‘Then parading around the bedroom, wearing nothing but a lemon feather-boa and some chocolate Christmas Tree’s dangling from the matted muff’.

  2. Moving in eh?

    I’ll give her a week.

    Little Con..?

    For one horrible moment I thought Convict had some explaining to do but then I remembered Granny Sniff.

  3. Yes, “moving in”. Lot’s of people do it. I think the world of her and we love being together and it’s the natural thing to do.

    Pussies and birds eh Karen? Dirty bitch.

  4. SD’s being rather optimistic, don’t you think?

    And I thought lesbo’s only moved cats in?

    Anyway (fave word), does Trumpy realise her life is about to change forever?

    End of social life

    End of carefree boozing

    End of admiring that bit of fanny down the street

    End of control over the remote controls

    The last one being most painful.

  5. For fuck’s sake don’t get me started on remote controls. I knew lesbians were mad about flicking, but I never realised people meant flicking through the telly channels. Maddening, so it is.

  6. I’m not sure you can stop somebody watching you poo, not in the situation where you generally leave the bathroom door open. I mean, could you imagine jumping off the toilet to lock the door as you were in the middle of logging off? It could get really messy, couldn’t it?

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