Hey, Mr DJ

I’ve had a very rewarding, but rather dull day.

In the days before digital music players, you’d take a 7″ or 12″ vinyl record, a cassette, or a CD and you’d play it using the appropriate piece of equipment.  You listened to the music, enjoyed it – or not, but invariably, a track would be listened to in full.

Albums were compositions of related songs, often based on a theme that developed from one track to the next, and you’d absorb the whole thing, drawing your own inferences as to the meanings of the music, the words, and that.  After reaching the end, it was tempting to listen again, and again.

Enough of my love for Bros and Kylie.  These days, with the advent of MP3 and listening to music on iPods, Zens, PCs, our relationship with music is so transient.  I find it difficult to get the end of a single track, let alone to listen to a whole album.  But I wonder whether music has moved on too?  Does an album still contain those individual compositions, eached linked by a common theme?  Who knows?  I haven’t listened to entire album in such a long time.  Instead, I have all the music I care to listen to loaded onto an MP3 player, where I listen to all the tracks on shuffle play, often skipping many of them before they even get going.

Being pretty good when it comes to recognising music: I can usually tell what I’m listening to within a couple of seconds of it starting, but sometimes I get duped it it’s an obscure album track – obviously – or something crappy world music that I downloaded in the misguided hope of expanding my musical horizons, but have failed to delete.  So I come to listen to my music on shuffle play and I find myself stumped as to the identity of a track.  It often helps that the artwork for an album is displayed on the lovely screen of my iPod Touch, which I can see from the comfort of my sitting position all the way over to where the shiny device of genius sits in its docking station.  But herein lies the problem: since I don’t usually get my music from iTunes, a lot of my albums didn’t have the artwork associated with it on the player, so I’d have to actually get up and look at my iPod so I could see what was playing.

My life really sucks at times, doesn’t it?

Having a full library of the music artwork would obviously forewarn me that a track from El Guincho’s Alegranza, or some other crap was next up as I sit skipping track after track.  It’d also allow me to know when a track that I actually liked was coming on.

Because of this, I spent the day downloading and associating all the missing album art for the music on my iPod, all of it.  How tedious, but as I said, how very rewarding.

I could always delete the stuff that I don’t like, but I might just get a bang on the head one day that changes my musical tastes.

Apparently, my dislike of most rap and hip-hop music, and that awful southern African music with the guitars and the deep male voices actually makes me a racist!  No, I’d say it makes me somebody with decent musical taste.

Guitar man

I tried to play my guitar last night.  It’s so difficult!  I started playing when I was about eight and it was so hard to stretch my tiny fingers over the fretboard, but I worked hard at it and was actually quite good at it.  Did exams and everything – passed them, even got distinctions in a couple of them (or whatever you get when you’re quite good).

I’ve forgotten it all now.  And my fingers, despite being a little bit bigger than 25 years ago, are so very very weak.

Fuck it though, I can’t even get through a single track without needing to skip to the end so I’ve got no hope of making my way through a piece of sheet music without getting bored half way through.

All my own work

After stealing somebody else’s talent with my last post, I think it’s only fair that I think of something original of my own.

Watching the music channels recently, it’s refreshing to see how the artists use their talents to come up with original Christmas songs.  You’ve got Roy Wood and Wizzard (I wish it could be Christmas every day), Cliff (Mistletoe and wine), Elton (that song that he did at Christmas), and those others that I can’t be arsed to remember, mainly because my brain has been saturated with them for the past three weeks and it is now using protective measures to prevent recall.

Anyway, there are some songs that have been done to death – Do they know it’s Christmas (three different versions, too many releases), White Christmas, Santa Baby, errm and some others (again, the protective measures have kicked in and I daren’t delve too deep in case something fuses and I end up running around the house nakes, chomping on the cardboard tube from a roll of wrapping paper while screaming All I want for Christmas, is yoooooooooooooo-hooooooooooo!!!)

So yes, cover versions.  There’s a bit of controversy at the moment because somebody (the winner of a TV talent show no less) DARE do a re-hash of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.  Who’s complaining, Cohen?  Like hell he is, he needs to fill the $10m hole in his pension that was left when his manager shafted him.  Nope, the evangelical fans of deceased singer Jeff Buckley are kicking up a stink  because somebody who can sing better than Jeff (even before he drowned himself) will probably get to the top of the chart with their version of the song.  You see, Jeff’s fans see his version of the song as sacred, never to be touched again.  Not that his is the best version, having listened to a load of them (and there have been gazillions) the best version is probably John Cale’s – as featured in Shrek, but not on the soundtrack (that was the perpetually flat Rufus Wainwright).

It’s a bloody song, for goodness sake.  Jeff Buckley, my arse.  If he was alive, do you really think that he’d give a shit whether the latest talent show hopeful had done yet another cover of a song that he didn’t even write?  No, he wouldn’t, unless he was an idiot, which he might have been since he went for a swim and drowning – even I couldn’t manage that (because I know I can’t swim and I wouldn’t try it).

People get so precious about things.  If you don’t like a new version of a song, don’t listen to it.  Get your Walkman out, find your Jeff Buckley tape and listen to your heart’s content.  Just stop fucking whinging.  And let’s face it, nobody would’ve even heard of Jeff Buckley if it hadn’t been for Alexandra Burke singing the song as X Factor winner.

Jean genie

Last night, I tried some jeans on that I bought in 2006, they’d been consigned to the back of the wardrobe since summer 2007 because I’d grown too fat for them.  They’re baggy now: arse crack-exposing baggy.

I celebrated by having Dominos pizza for tea.

And there’s another thing.  Dominos must’ve delivered here about 4 or 5 times now and they STILL have to phone up to ask where I am.  I know this is a a new estate and the road’s not on any maps yet, but don’t you think they’d make a note of where these new places are when they deliver to them?

Nice pizza though.  Mighty meaty with extra jalapenos and black olives (no onions, I detest onions on pizza, but quite as much as I detest pineapple or peppers).