I’ve downloaded and installed Windows 7 beta; it’s very nice, a bit like Vista was supposed to be. Very fast, with some great innovations going on in the technical bowels of it… well, it’s got this good power management thing that turns things off when they’re not in use then zips them back into operation as soon as you use them again.

And the new Windows Media Player is nifty to the extreme, allowing previews of tracks and that. Lovely.  Are you watching, Apple?

But anyway, techno-schmeckno. Although pissing about with your PC can be quite exciting, it’s always with more than a touch of apprehension that I embark on such adventures. The idea of wiping everything off your machine – EVERYTHING – so you can install a new operating system and start again is pretty alien, given all the shite you have to put back on when you’re done, and the prospect of it all going horribly wrong. Nonetheless, I managed it without any problem and it’s like having a new machine.

It’ll be like having an old machine again when the beta version expires on 1st August and we all have to rush to buy a licensed copy for about £200 (v clever, Mr Microsoft)… or go back to Vista.

God, this is a bit techy.

Anyway, if you’re feeling a bit nostalgic having just updated to Windows 7, perhaps you’d like to take a walk down memory lane and have a look at these screenshots from previous incarnations of our beloved operating system; took me right back, so they did.  My personal favourite was Windows 95, no it wasn’t, it was totally shit – especially with that fucking bouncy paperclip thing.  Windows didn’t get anything like half decent until XP.

DHL
Yes, I’m working from home today (I’ve checked my e-mails periodically); this means that I was here to accept a parcel for Jo. We have a front door, with a bell, that is easily accessible. Mr DHL decided to try to come in through the back gate (locked), thus alarming Little Rocky and setting him off on one of his frantic barking tantrums. When Mr DHL realised that perhaps it’s not that common to break down somebody’s gate to deliver a parcel through the patio doors at the back of their house, he decided to come round to the front door and bang on it as loudly as possible, sending Rocky’s tantrum into megadrive.

Total nob.

Fuckbook is brilliant!
Well, that’s how I feel today at least, and my opinion is subject to change on a whim, or as the result of being “poked” by some cunt from years ago who I only added as a friend out of politeness. Be warned.

I found myself in hysterics the other night after I decided, goodness only knows why, to post some images of me that had been taken for official documents, ID cards, passports, that type of affair. Now, if I hadn’t just wiped everything off my PC, I’d be able to upload those images to Flickr and show them here. Here’s the link instead. Actually, forget that, I don’t want this page to link to anything that has identifiable information about me. Not that I’m paranoid or a shrinking violet or anything.

Anyway, here it is, my own personal gallery of shame:

Hrrm, can’t explain the big gap between the rows, but fuck it, you get the picture. I’m essentially a big fat bloater screaming to get out of my otherwise silf-like frame and, in general, I succeed in expressing the inner me very well.  I particularly like the photo from my driving licence and UK passport: see how I’ve skilfully plucked one eyebrow, but not the other?  And people wonder why I always travel on my Italian passport.

E-mail scam
“Hello, I am Prince Ngoloki Hokey Cokey from Western Nigernya and I would like to share e-mailing with you”

I am becoming more paranoid by the day and it won’t be long before I’m wearing a tin foil helmet to try to keep the thought police out. From March, all our e-mails are going to be stored on huge snooperbase for the purposes of criminal investigations and antiterrorism efforts. Well, that’s the government’s excuse at least. Great, isn’t it? I’m just going to have “Hydrogen peroxide source” as the default subject for all my messages and I’m going to change my name to Wahida Al Jalabi (apologies to anybody who happens to have that name!). I’d like to think everybody will do the same so the whole thing comes crashing down around Home Secretary Jacqui Smith’s stupid deaf ears.

I’m Spartacus!

Surely saving all our e-mails for snooping purposes is no different to having all our post opened and checked before we send or receive any?

I guess it’s quite comforting to know know that the government is so scared of its own people that it has to erode our civil liberties on a daily basis, but watch out for legislation preventing people from voting if they speak too loudly against them.

Cunts.