Apparently, according to a “poll”, the UK’s favourite regional dish is the Yorkshire Pudding.

Are these people having a laugh? The Yorkshire Pudding is an accompaniment, not a food in its own right, such as runners up the Melton Mowbray pork pie or Cornish pasty. Fuckwits.

But on reading this report, I felt compelled to buy a slice of gala pie for my lunch. It was a toss-up between gala pie and scotch eggs, so I bought both – the latter for the journey to Darn Sarf this evening. I don’t know why, but there’s something good about pork products and hard boiled eggs. That’s nice hard boiled eggs and not those fucking horrible dried-up, green-yoked things that you used to get a buffets in the 1970s.

I don’t know what it was about the 1970s, but food was awful. Haute cuisine was prawn cocktail followed by steak and chips at the local Bernie Inn; it still is for some, generally for those sorts of people who allow their children to use pub restaurant furniture as a climbing frame and who don’t like food with “too much taste”.

It was during the 1970s that I developed by intense dislike of tomatoes on sandwiches and of bananas in my packed lunch. You should never have salad veg on a sandwich unless it’s absolutely fresh, and when a sandwich is trapped in a hot plastic lunch box with a banana for four hours, the result is something that is permanently etched in the memory.

Off to London to see the Queen
So we’re off to Darn Sarf this evening, with a trip to The People’s Republic of London planned for tomorrow. We’ll be knocking on the door of Buckingham Palace at about 8.30, so I hope Her Majesty is out of her nightdress and ready for breakfast with her visitors.

I can’t believe how much of a parlava some people make of arranging holidays. Fucking shut the fuck up. How can somebody who is on holiday every three weeks have five days to carry over into the next year? Bloody hell.

So anyway, after the Queen, it’s off to some museums and things, particularly the Science Museum where we’ll be playing with a load of games consoles in an exhibition that’s being held there.

Then I’m going to tell Tony Blair what I think of him by projecting an image of my arse onto the Houses of Parliament from one of the pods on the London Eye. With the size of my arse, all I’ll need is Maglite, and the curvature of the glass of the pod will do the rest.

I like being a tourist; I just hope the people there are friendly… for a change. Report to follow.

Egypt blogger jailed for insulting islam
That’s right folks, a 21 year blogger from Alexandria has been jailed for four years for insulting islam (3 years) and the country’s president Mubarak (1 year).

Are these people total fucking nutcases or what?

Islam a loving faith that is open to criticism, my arse. Some of the Christians as just as bad with their views on certain sections of God’s flock. Superstitious fruitcakes.

In light of this, and recent losses of freedom of speech in the UK, my planned trip on the London Eye tomorrow has been postponed.