Having been blighted by an icy easterly wind for what seems at least a month, the air was finally still today. The sunshine brought with it the most welcomed warmth.

This should not be remarkable for April, but as we emerge from what feels like the longest winter, that first day of spring was sprung on us today.

After waking at 5 and finding myself unable to return to slumber for another two hours, I was shocked into waking at 11.30 by my phone playing the theme from Wonder Woman. Mother was calling. She asked whether I wanted my dad to put a bet on the Grand National for me. Without hesitation, I declined the offer. On too many occasions, the horse that I backed ended up dying, so, convinced that I was jinxing them, I stopped betting a few years ago. I don’t even like to hear the names of the runners in case one sticks in my mind and the poor beast ends up as dog food… or a supermarket ready meal.

Spurred into action, I jumped out of bed, made coffee, and returned to the comfort of memory foam and goose down to enjoy it. As is my way. I lay looking through the opened slats of the blinds at the unbroken blue sky, listening for the rustling of the barbecue cover and the banging of the loose fence panels: nothing but birdsong. The wind had gone at last.

Me and the Little Dog eventually embarked on our trip to the woods for our daily constitutional. It struck me immediately: it was warm. WARM! I’d been waiting for this day since October and a smile filled my face as we trotted along to the woodland. The paths there skirt the river and circle a lake and where there’s water and sunshine and warmth, there are midges. Thousands of the buggers had woken up overnight and were out in force, dancing their merry dances in my face and hair.

Why does this happen? What makes nature so cruel that it plays these awful tricks on us? As soon as the sun comes out, so too do the associated irritants. The houseflies will be next. Moths in the evenings. Wasps. People showing way too much flesh when they really ought not to. Garden power tools, all day, every Saturday and Sunday.

My mood wasn’t dampened by the emergence of the flying nuisances though. How could it be? I was trespassing in their hood afterall. Saying that, I think one is trespassing up my nose at the moment.

Me and the little feller shared an ice cream. He had a paddle in the river. It was utterly energising and put me in a fine humour for going out tonight. I’m even tempted to set fire to some meat tomorrow. Let’s face it, this dry spell won’t last into summer and we have to make the most of it while it’s here.

So now at 2am, I’ve fallen into the usual trap of not getting to bed early at the weekend. Tonight’s culprits are Sarah Beany and Nick Knowles. It’s quite compelling viewing, watching programmes about people’s houses being rescued from near destruction.

The National didn’t claim any fatalities. I can sleep easy tonight.

Tally ho!